#%$&*!@ Boat Motor
This weekend we went to the lake. I decided to take my sailboat because it was windy. I got there early to put it in the water, but the water was high at the launching ramp and the boat wouldn’t come off the trailer because the angle of the ramp at that water level. I would have to take the mast down and drive to a ramp so I backed the van up in the water a little more, still no luck. I finally said heck with it and backed the van so far that water went half way up almost, to the lights on the van. Still I hade to almost kill myself to get the boat off the trailer. After pulling the van up to park and leaving all the trash in the back of the van in the water I get on the boat and try to start the motor. The #%$&*!@ motor wouldn’t start! I was a good boy and stayed calm and kept the cursing down though I was frustrated. After about an hour a stranger gave me a tow to the boat dock and we went to eat even though we were late to our reservation. That night I didn’t want to mess with the boat because it was late getting back and I didn’t want to lose my temper. The next day it rained all day and we just staid in and watched conference and had a lazy day. The next day I went out and cleaned the spark plug and thought I hade the motor running smooth, but I was fooled and I took it on a test run and it quit three times and we barley made it back in. I just bought the motor last year with only 20 hours on it and now I was mad. I did my best to keep the angry monster in and decided to not worry about it. I barley made it to a different ramp to pull it out of the water and now I don’t know what to do with it. I’m afraid to work on it and lose my temper and take a hammer to it. Maybe a tune up will do the trick. I don’t know what the deal is with the hectic weekend trips and the motor problems but I hope the curse will end soon.
That really sucks! If it makes you feel any better I won’t let Michael take his boat out anymore. I told him we can’t afford the gas until he gets his tractor paid for!
That sucks Dan. Nothing like a good old Mitchell beat down to get stuff working again.
Kerry….Have I told you about my “Nuts in the vice theory?” I actually worked out a chart and gave a lecture on it in one of my undergraduate geography classes. (The class was all Male.)
All right, so what’s your theory Joe?
P.S. This is Mom, not Kerry.
Well Mom, I can’t find my chart for some reason, but basically, I came up with an exponetial equation for calculating the degree of pain caused by having one’s nuts clamped down on more and more as a relationship progresses. Length of relationship and Elvis’ song “Mean Woman Blues” were the primary factors in the equation. See the lyrics below. I also calculated the tensil strength of your run of the mill vice and determined that the nuts will give long before the vice does. I think it was something like 20,000 pounds per square inch. I don’t recall for sure though. It all starts out slow until one day there just isn’t any feeling down there anymore. There is a large unexplained spike in the chart when the words, “I do” are uttered.
I got a woman,
Mean as she can be
I got a woman,
Mean as she can be
Sometimes I think
She’s almost mean as me
A black cat up and died of fright
‘Cause she crossed his path last night
Oh, I got a woman
Mean as she can be
Sometimes I think
She’s almost mean as me
She kiss so hard, she bruise my lips
Hurts so good, my heart just flips
Oh, I got a woman
Mean as she can be
Sometimes I think
She’s almost mean as me
The strangest gal I ever had
Never happy ‘less she’s mad
Oh, I got a woman
Mean as she can be
Sometimes I think
She’s almost mean as me
She makes love without a smile
Ooh, hot dog that drives me wild
Oh, I got a woman
Mean as she can be
Sometimes I think
She’s almost mean as me
Dan, are you guys still alive? What have you been up to lately?